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Pregnancy After Miscarriage

The Ups and Downs of
Trying Again

By Roxanne Williams Snopek

She didn't even tell her husband at first. After two definite miscarriages and month after month of disappointment, Kathi Johnson of Gainesville, Va. still finds it hard to accept that this pregnancy will hold. "I always wanted a large family," she says. "But at 31, the clock is ticking." Only when blood work confirmed the pregnancy did she tell her husband. A few days later, however, she began spotting. "I was frantic, thinking 'here we go again!'" But after a week of light spotting, repeated blood-work and ultrasound confirmed she was still pregnant and everything was fine. "I was overjoyed, but didn't want to tell anyone yet." Another two months went by before she finally announced the news.

Pregnancy is an emotional experience for many reasons, but when a woman has experienced miscarriage, these emotions can be overwhelmingly difficult. Instead of joy and hope, there is fear, guilt, sadness and, for many women, isolation.

In spite of the fact that an estimated one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, it is not talked about openly. Mel Angel of Hastings, England understands this, but feels that communicating her feelings to supportive friends was very helpful. A mother of three sons, she lost a fourth son at 19 weeks gestation. When she became pregnant again 10 weeks later, she had a flood of mixed feelings. "I found it very hard at first to talk about my impending baby," she says. "That in some way I was being disrespectful to the one I lost, for conceiving again so soon." In spite of her worries, she announced this pregnancy as soon as she was certain. "If the same thing happens again, then the more people that know, the more help we'll get." Mel was fortunate to have friends who understood what she was going through, but even with a good network of support, some women cannot find their way through the maze of loss without professional guidance.

Want to see more?

• Pregnancy After Loss: Are You Ready to Try Again?
• Understanding Pregnancy Loss: Blighted Ovum and Chemical Pregnancy
• When a Miscarriage Isn't Nature's Way
• Talk About It!