A Dream Come True

The Same-sex Couple's Guide to Surrogacy

By Sharon LaMothe

Oftentimes we have a dream that seems so impossible that it is set aside without any thought to real exploration. One of those dreams for a same-sex couple or single adult may be having children of their own. Society has discouraged it in the past for many unfounded reasons, but this is the 21st century and there is a way to make this dream a reality: surrogacy.

First let me explain exactly who surrogates are. A surrogate is a unique type of woman who is willing to carry a child for another couple or single person. She can be one of two types: a traditional surrogate, who uses her eggs and carries the child, or a gestational surrogate or carrier, who has no biological link to the child/children she gives birth to. In each of these cases, the surrogate agrees to give up the child she carries at the time of birth. As a gestational, she has no legal rights to the child, but if she is a traditional, she must relinquish her rights to the commissioning intended parents.

What does all this mean to you as a gay or lesbian couple? It means that if the adoption door has been closed to you or the foster care system isn't the way you want to go to have children in your life, then with the help of a surrogate, and possibly an egg donor or sperm donor, you can create the family you always dreamed of.

There are several steps to take along the road to surrogacy. The first step is to educate yourself about the laws in your state. It is widely known that California is a wonderful state to pursue surrogacy. The laws are clear cut for gays and lesbians, and both of the intended parents can be put on the birth certificate. But you don't have to travel that far to become parents through surrogacy!

Want to see more?

• The Surrogacy Search: Starting Out
• The Surrogacy Search: In Their Own Words
• Gift-Giver: Profile of a Surrogate Mother
• Check out our Article Library.
• Talk about it!