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Decisions, Decisions
Which Parenting Path Is Right for You?
By Shel Franco
Are you thinking about getting pregnant? Are you a little confused? Not about the mechanics; you know how to start down that road. Still, there's something holding you back, isn't there?
If you're looking for clarification, you've come to the right place. We have three women, three different decisions – all with 20/20 hindsight. Reading about their experiences could be just what you need to feel comfortable with a decision of your own.
By the time Dunn was 25, she had three children under 5. "I'm plenty spontaneous, and my husband knew that from the start," she says. "Every time I found myself wanting another baby to cuddle, all I had to do was blink, and I was pregnant."
Now that her children are all teenagers, Dunn has had time to reflect on the outcomes of her decisions. "Would I have changed a thing? That's a hard question," she says. "I would never want my kids to think I didn't want them, because that's so far from the truth. And if I change something, I wouldn't have ended up with the three kids I have, so in that case, I have no regrets. But I wouldn't be human if I didn't wonder what my life would be like had I thought things through a bit."
20/20 Hindsight: Dunn says that having her kids young and so close together was a blessing and a curse. "I never had time to worry about if I was doing it right; there was always somebody throwing something in the toilet or running after the cats," she says. "I also lost myself for a long time. I liked who I was in my late teens, but she never got a chance to live and grow, because being a mom killed that part of me."
Dunn enjoys time for herself now that the kids are self-sufficient. "I'm not old, yet," she says, laughing. "Most of my hours are filled with 'me' stuff, and I am young enough to enjoy that, but I do feel out of place at times, especially with my kids' friends' parents who are much older than I am."
